Here is how I came to be where I am now
The main event that influenced my decision to become a special education teacher happened on August 3rd, 1984, the day of my birth. During labor there were some difficulties that lead to my umbilical cord wrapping around my neck cutting off the oxygen supply to my brain. Because of this event I now and will forever have a specific learning disability. There have been multiple times in my life that I have wished that my disability would go away, but it has not and I am grateful for all the experiences that have come my way because of my disability. Living life with a disability has not been easy nor has it been impossible. My decision to become an E.S.E teacher is based on an event that I had no control over; I did however have control over how I would react to other situations that took place because of my disability.
The second event that happened that led me to becoming a special education teacher took place in first grade. I do not remember much about first grade, but this one particular day I can remember like it was yesterday. The school day was coming to a close and all of my friends and I were packing up for the bus ride home. While I was putting some school supplies away I noticed that my mom had walked into the room and was talking to my teacher. This had never happened before. I always took the bus home and if my mom did come to school it was during the day, not during dismissal. My mom and my teacher, Mrs. Sheppard, talked for a while and I was instructed to stay at my desk and not to get on the bus. I obeyed my mother's request until the conversation was over. My mom then came over, took my hand and we walked out of the classroom through the school until we came to a hallway that I had never been down.
The hallway was incredibly long and had a chalkboard in the middle. For some reason or another we stopped before proceeding down the never ending hallway. I took this pause to mean something less than desirable was about to happen to me. When we began our walk down the hallway I became another child; I was usually very well mannered and never caused much of a fuss, but when my mom started down that hallway with me in hand I threw the biggest fit imaginable. I dragged my heals and became limp refusing to move another inch. My mom proceeded down the hallway regardless if I wanted to go or not. When we came to the middle where the chalkboard stood I grabbed a piece of chalk and started to write the word "no" over and over again. It turned out that at the end of the hall was a room where I was tested to see if I had a disability. I do not know why I was unwilling to walk down the hallway; perhaps deep down I knew that my life would change dramatically all because of one simple walk down a hall.
The process from going from non-disabled to disabled is not easy; one day I am a typical little first grade and the next day I am taking test after test after test, people who I do not know are watching me scribbling stuff in a notebook, my parents and teachers are treating my differently all because of a label that I have been given. I know what it is like to be confused when one day you are label free and the next you have a giant stamp on your forehead that reads disabled for the world to see. I did not wish for this label nor do I wish for anyone else to experience what I have been through. All I know is that it is not the label that matters, but how the individual and the world view the label.
To the world, and several school physiologists, my label meant that I would never fully be able to read and that each year of school I complete would become more impossible. Fortunately for me, my parents and a few teachers saw my label in a different light. Instead of seeing all I could not do they saw all I could do. I eventually learned how to read, my parents were so thrilled by my accomplishment that they video recorded me reading Green, Eggs and Ham. I would go on from this accomplishment and finish elementary and middle school. When it came to selecting which high school I would attend my parents and I visited the two high school principals in the town we lived in to see how they would handle my education.
During elementary and middle school I was in general education classes for the majority of the time. There were times when I had a special education teacher by my side and other times where I would go to another classroom and be taught. The two main subjects that I struggled with were and still are reading and math. I was an average student earning As, Bs and Cs on assignments and tests. I spent several hours most nights completing homework and studying. My disability made school difficult, but not impossible. I worked hard and I tried my best in everything I did in school.
The principals from the two different high schools both came to the same conclusion on how I would get through high school, a self contained classroom that would result in a special diploma. At this point in my life I was just beginning to accept having a specific learning disability and this experience with the two principals set me back to square one. These principals were not seeing me, they were seeing my label and test score numbers. To them I was not Megan; I was a walking label and a test score. I remember sitting in between my parents in front of one of the principals desks listening to her talk about this person that was supposedly me. She was talking about me without even knowing me, deciding what I would do and how I would do it without even asking for my opinion. I did not matter to her I was just a label without words to defend myself. I just sat there becoming more frustrated by the minute wondering how a person could decide someone’s potential without even getting to know the person first. The principal continued to talk and tears started to gather in my eyes. The last thing I was going to do was let this person see me cry. I got up in a flurry, and darted out the door and headed for the car.
I was done with school, I was done with people seeing me as a label and I was done with having the label myself. I did not ask for this label it was just something I had to deal with. I could no longer let people decide my future for me I had to take responsibility for my disability and make the most of the years to come. For the next two years I made the decision to be home schooled. I did a lot of damage repair from the mess those two principals had caused. I had to re-define who I thought I was and not what the world thought I was. I could no longer let people do the fighting for me I now had to fight for myself and during those two years the person I fought with the most was myself. I wish I could say that those two principals had nothing to do with me going into special education, but they are the ones that made me realize that I was made to be a special education teacher. Who better to educate those who have a disability than a person who knows firsthand what it is like to struggle and survive in school with a disability?
I owe a lot of thanks to all the teachers and my parents that believed in me and fought to give me the best education possible. I can honestly say that my life would be different if I did not have them in my life. I want to help students in the same way my teachers and parents have helped me. They showed me the potential I have in myself despite having a disability.
My goal as a special education teacher is to help students fight for the education because if they are not going to fight for themselves than who will? I want students to understand how their disability affects their education and ways to overcome challenges that come with their disability. Students need to take pride in their disability and not let other bring them down. My goal as a special education teacher is to allow students with disabilities to be more than a label and a number to the world and to provide them with opportunities that will permit them to shine despite what others may think.
