I do what I want

I do what I want.

There is a select group of students who think they can do what they want. In fact these words have even escaped their lips. My coteacher and I are a little confused to how they came to this conclusion. Did someone tell them that the rules do not apply to them. Were they given a get out of consequences pass that we are unaware of. It's a nice idea to think that we all could do what we want at any given time but we can't because we are members of society. We are not characters in South Park and Cartmen is a fictional character. So, even though you "think" you can do what you want; you might not like what happens after you follow through with what you say. 

Cell phone meeting

This past year was the year the cell phone invaded the classroom. I have never had so much cell phone activity than this past year. One thing is for sure is that students are absolutely horrible when it comes to hiding their phones. 

Umm hello, your face is glowing.

 I tried to give them tips and pointers as to how to better conceal their phones, but they still were lousy at hiding cell phone activity.

 Someone needs to teach these kids cell phone manners. 

A majority of the time I just ignored them "trying" to not be seen using their phone. I picked my battles with cell phones. One such battle is when a parent is texting their child during school. I understand if it's an emergency, but you should probably call the office and not text your child when they are in class. Is this too much to ask for?

The unbelievable

Students often question why I take pictures of what happens in the classroom and my response is because no one will believe these types of things happen in a classroom. Therefore I need to gather evidence to prove that such shenanigans occur in today's classroom. Case in point. A student did not have a normal size pencil so he decided to pull out this jumbo pencil and complete his work with. Might I add that this pencil required him to use a pair of scissors to sharpen. You see these are the things that people outside of school will not believe.  Here I am teaching a normal lesson about the Dust Bowl and what do I see from the corner of my eye but an enormous pencil being used. For those that are wondering the student did proceed to use this larger than life pencil to complete this assignment even though he was offered multiple normal size pencils. In fact, he continued to use this jumbo pencil for the next few weeks. I do not blame him, this pencil will most likely see him through high school. 

The correct way to say NO

This is the exact response I received from a student when asked to complete a classroom assignment. I believe the typical teacher would of been irritated by this refusal. I on the other hand was impressed by their creativity. There is a part of me that should of been annoyed that they misused paper and tape, but all I could do was sit back and be amazed. 

Unicorn student

You know those students that are beyond amazing. The ones that complete an assignment before it is even given. They catch mistakes and serve as a second teacher in the classroom. Earning anything less than an A is out of the picture. You know the type. They don't come around often but when they do its a sight to see. These students are about as common as a unicorn.

 I have had the privilege of having such students in my class. I marvel at their unbelievable talent to make anything they do look effortless. The funny thing is, they don't brag about their amazingness and the other students don't despise them for being overwhelmingly awesome. How can anyone not gaze in amazement when a unicorn is in their presence. 

I will admit there are times when these unicorn students should just teach the class and I will play student for the day. I do not hesitate to have them assist other students who are having difficulty. Perhaps a small percentage of my paycheck should go to them.

I want to be them when I grow up.

Yes, I know this is not a unicorn. 

It's a miniature elephant. 

Also as rare as a unicorn

Unforgettables

There will always be unforgettable students and moments in education. Friday provided me with two unforgettable moments. 

1. A student in my second period class looked me up and down and asked if I was willing to take his mom shopping because she apparently has issues dressing cool and I do not.

2. It has taken six years, but it finally happened. A student said they "F***ing hate this class." This outburst warranted an impromptu meeting after the bell and I congratulated this student for being the first to ever say that in my class. I informed this little darling that I will remember this day for the rest of my life and that I was grateful that I at least liked what I was wearing that day. 

I ended Friday by taking a stroll through Trader Joes where I bought sunflowers and the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. It only seemed natural.

Hello Sunshine

TWO FACTS

Fact 1:

My classroom contains ZERO windows. Even the window on the door only lets in artificial light from the hallway.

Fact 2:

I never turn on my over head lights. I prefer to light my classroom with lamps...a total of nine lamps to be exact.

This brings us to today's middle school statement brought to you by a 6th grader:

Student: Miss can you turn on the sunshine? 

Me: What!?!?

The one with the kool-aid

Class had just begun and for some reason or another two students were by my desk and one got a little too close to the other when this piece of goodness popped out of their mouth:

"You are all up in my kool-aide and you don't even know the flavor."

It took me a minute for this statement to register, but when it did I about died from laughter.

I was later told I could not get away with saying this because I am white...

Non the less I have said this phrase in various conversations

Word to the wise

One of the many joys of teaching middle school is note passing. Unfortunately, this occurrence does not happen very often. When I do come upon a student passing a note I causally and quietly take the note. The contents of  the note usually dictates what actions follow. This particular note suited my fancy especially after reading the first line. At the time the class was involved in an independent activity which allowed me time to edit this student's note. Once this was complete, I handed the note back to the student informing them if they are to pass notes they might as well do it with little if any errors. 

To respond or not to respond

When you work with students, especially in middle school, there is a chance that odd little comments and questions will be heard on a daily basis. Since we are officially back from break I have been asked some odd questions as well as heard some interesting remarks. Here is this weeks odd questions and remarks brought to you by a 7th grader and 8th graders

During vocabulary bell work

7th grader: Miss do you have an extra pair of earrings

Me: No, why would you ask me that

7th grader: Because of all of my teachers you would be the one to have an extra pair

While grading an essay

8th grader: Miss do you know what you look like?

Me (awkwardly looking up): Uhh no, what?

8th grader: You look like a baby doll today.

Me (concerned look on my face): Thank you?!?

During a writing group
8th grader: Miss you're Cuban right?
Me: Why would you think I'm Cuban?
8th grader: Because you're blonde and pale...most Cuban girls are like that.
Me: Well, I'm from Texas and I'm definitely not Cuban
8th grader: Oh, if you wanted to pretend to be Cuban you could pull it off
Me: I'll keep that in mind

Public service announcement

My lovely 8th graders are in the process of perfecting the art of writing persuasive essays. One of the two topics they were writing about dealt with allowing girls to play on the boys football team at school. Reading their persuasive essays are always entertaining due to their reasons they provide in their paper. For example, did you know that girls should not play football because it will lead them to developing breast cancer due to lack of padding!

When reading their essays I have two options to cry or to laugh. This young man's essay lead to automatic laughter. My para questioned his research and when I asked this student about his essay he instantly threw his hands in the air and said "I know" and covered his face as he walked away.

An unlikely gift

Whenever Christmas time rolls around students start asking what I would like. My reply has always consisted of something, something unicorn...pink flying unicorn, glittered singing unicorn, purple talking unicorn and so on. I do this because I know the likelihood of them actually producing a gift is slim and I am 83% sure I will not like what they give me.

 I know, I know it's the thought that counts.

Well,  this past Christmas I received the best gift ever from a student...pure sarcasm!

Let me give you some background information on this student. He is unlike any other. I am his case manager. He is curious about how to make it as a male model. He owns stock in chewing gum. 

One of our school policies, like all other schools across the country, is not to chew gum.

Apparently, this message has fallen on deaf ears by this lovely student because he is given a citation each class period for gum. Sometimes he gets rid of one piece, is given a citation, puts in another piece of gum which is then followed with a second citation. He has more than once offered me gum and his locker can be identified by the minty smell coming out of it. There has been times were I have held a citation over his head for having gum...If you complete your work quietly, you can keep your gum and the citation will go away

 Don't judge

Being an ESE teacher you have to work with what you have.

On the last day before break he walked through my door and shoved this package at me and grunted a Merry Christmas. After the bell had rang I opened this cleverly wrapped gift to discover two brand new packs of gum!

If a student actually would give me a unicorn I am almost positive that would guarantee them an A in the class....I actually do not care for unicorns I just know they are not easy to come by.

Point of View

By the looks of this picture you probably think I'm a pretty nice person. 

Which is partially true. 

The thing is your point of view is limited. You have no idea who this student is. Allow me to create a visual for you: a scrawny Ray Romano. Now if you are like me and have watched Every Body Loves Raymond at least four times through from beginning to end you know that Ray can be a little annoying and a tad bit selfish at times. You also know what irritates him and may be tempted to push his buttons and he will gladly push them right back! 

Well you see those minuscule pencils on the left...they have a name. They are this students "babies" one time in class he dropped one on the floor and was frantically searching for his "baby." The name is semi-appropriate because when using these worthless pencils to write with will result in your handwriting to look babyish. 

On Thursday I had finally reached my breaking point with these little nubs. During lunch I kidnapped all of the babies and replaced what I took with a brand new full grown "family." I didn't say anything to the student I just waited for him to discover this gift inside his pencil pouch. 

While the class was studying for their spelling test I noticed that Chris was scavenging through his pencil pouch in desperate search of his precious pencils. This lasted a good three minutes and he never even bothered with the new pack of pencils. He finally gave up and pulled out a pen which prompted me to remind the class that they need to use a pencil for their test...back to the scavenging he went searching for his babies. I walked over to Chris and asked if he needed a pencil and he grumbled under his breath no "I have a pen" I asked him what about those new pencils gesturing to the brand new pack...he mumbled something and pulled out a pencil. 

Spelling test is over and we are into our lesson. I notice that Chris is sitting at his desk, not completing his work, but sharpening those brand new pencils to a nub. I casually walk over and stick out my hand motioning for him to hand over the pencil sharpener...at this point I can tell he is less than thrilled with my act of kindness, but he unwillingly hands over the pencil sharpener. He sits at his desk silently fuming at his normal size pencil...although he is doing his work.

Bell rings and my planning begins

I decide to spy on little Chris...because apparently I have nothing else better to do. I walk past his reading class and I can see him sitting in his desk and what is he doing...
sharpening those darn pencils to a nub!

The tale of two pencils

I think everyone can agree something happens between elementary and middle school

The two sides are as different as night and day

Some prefer to avoid one or the other at all cost

To visualize this difference I give you two pencils

The first plain

If you saw it on the ground you would walk by and never look back

But do not let this plainness fool you. Behind the subtle wording lies a hot pink eraser not your average dull pink on any No. 2 this one is hot pink! It shouts look at me I'm different! This is middle school. One might think we are plain and lack cuteness, but we make up for it with attitude and  a little spunk! There is a chance that starring at something hot pink will give you a headache well the same can be said about middle schoolers unless you are used to all that brightness. Sure our students might be a little self-absorbed, but once you get to know them you will realize how amazing they truly are.  We can not be avoided even if you are trying to because after all we are a hot pink eraser!

The second adorable

There is not one centimeter on this pencil that is not covered in cuteness. It's bright and colorful everything that an elementary school student is. If pencils could move I'm pretty sure this one would be jumping up and down for no reason at all. This pencil begs to be picked first when solving a math equation and needs to be displayed on top of ones desk. Now all this cuteness can drain a person sure its nice for a couple of hours, but no one can compete with it.

I think it's safe to say we are either an overly cute pencil or one with a bright eraser. A person might change from one to another and if I were to pick one it would have one with a hot pink eraser.

Oh Christmas cards

I do believe my family has been cursed with some kind of Christmas card plague. Let me explain...we have taken pictures for the last fourish/threeish years and not one picture has made it into a card. I have joked that one year we are going to combine all of the pictures and create a flip book of sorts covering the last years of failed Christmas cards.

 

The point of me telling you this is because I have been camera less since Christmas in effort for my family to perhaps make this Christmas card season a success...well Christmas has passed and once again no card with our smiling faces was sent out. Sorry family and friends

 This is as far as the Christmas card made it
forever locked inside a camera

So this happened last week

I really do believe Halloween should be on the last Saturday of October. Some students treat Halloween as a two day event: day one preparation and day two recovery. 

 

Halloween always seems to come with its slew of questions:

Miss do we have Halloween off?

What are you going to dress up as?

Are we having a Halloween party?

Do we have to do work on Halloween?

Can I bring in candy?

This year not only did I receive the typical questions, but I was given a note.

Let me explain the situation...students are given two weeks to complete vocabulary homework: week 1 spelling and week 2 definition. The homework is rather simple and I cannot remember a time when I excepted a student's excuse for why they did not do their homework; so when this note appeared this student didn't stand a chance!

I was so tickled by this note I paraded it around school like it was the president of the United States showing it to everyone I came across!

For those that are wondering this students earned a ZERO for his homework that he had two weeks to complete!

The land of oz and ESE

Sometime in June I was in the goodwill bookstore with my mom and came across an interesting find:

A survival guide for the first-year special education teacher. I have struck gold! Wanting to know how they suggest to survive in ESE I flipped through the thin survival guide.

The first quote in the book is very fitting for ESE: Toto, I have the feeling we are not in Kansas anymore. When I read this quote I burst out with laughter. Yep, ESE is a land of its own filled with flying monkeys and good witches floating in bubbles.

I suppose that Kansas would be general education. Since gifted is underneath the ESE umbrella they would be the citizens of Emerald city. All the misfits that make up oz would be ESE.

{For curious minds...I did not purchase this survival guide}

The one with the special diploma

I  teach intensive academics language arts to 6th, 7th and 8th graders.

Around the time a student reaches their 14th birthday the uncomfortable decision about diploma options comes up during a student's IEP.

I despise the fact that we have to determine a students track of diplomas at such a young age, but unfortunately no one asked for my opinion.

Typically, 7th grade is the year the dreaded decision must be made. In order to earn a standard diploma a student must take general education classes and have a limited amount of intensive classes. Now a diploma options can change if a student switches from intensive to general education classes.

Well, one such 7th grader was put on a special diploma track and this decision did not sit well with him. I am not exactly sure what happened to this student, but after his IEP he turned into a new student. Very focused and determined to accomplish any task given to him.

here is one conversation that took place in class after his IEP:

Student: "Miss, can you believe that they are giving me a special diploma?"

Me: "Well, do you think you deserve a special diploma?"

Student: "Miss, do you see the work I am doing?"

Me: "Yes, and you are doing a fantastic job at it!"

Student: "Then why in the world am I getting a special diploma?"

Me: "Because you are taking all intensive classes"

Student: "Well, I am going to change my diploma. There is no way I am getting a special one!"

Me: "What changes are you going to make to determine you earn a standard diploma?"

Student: "Miss, I am going to make sure no one gets in my way on earning a standard diploma and if someone does get in my way they are going to have to deal with me!"

Me: "That sounds like an interesting plan."

Student: "You better believe it!"

//sidenote\\

if you could read the student part with a hint of a Hispanic accent it might sound better

The one with Charles Dickens

This moment to remember is brought to you by Mr. Dickens.
At the beginning of May 7th graders started a multi-step biography on a famous author.

I allowed students to pick from a list of authors and then they had to come up with twenty questions they wanted to find out about their author.

{Cornell Notes Style}

One such student selected Charles Dickens as his author to research and gather questions for.

As students were brainstorming questions I was meandering the classroom to monitor their progress. They were coming up with decent questions and then I went to check on Mr. Dickens questions and here is what took place:


A: I have twelve questions for my author
Me: Well, and you are still alive
A: funny miss
{glancing over his questions I start to become concerned}
Me: umm "A" can you read me your questions
A: how many girls did he have, when did he kiss his girl, did he pay child support...
Me: hold on "A", you are asking Charles Dickens if he paid child support?
A: yea, why not, Miss why are you looking at me like that?
Me: because if Mr. Dickens was alive I am pretty sure he would slapped you by now!

//Side note\\
when working with middle schoolers I would stay away from any word that might cause them to squirm in their seat when said allowed. I unfortunately picked two authors whose last name made them giggle
Charles Dickens
Emily Dickinson



The one with C.O.D

This moment to remember comes from C.O.D

and for those that are unaware of what this acronym stands for here is a hint:

a video game

My exploratory wheel class was in the middle of writing teacher appreciation cards. One of the steps in writing these cards was to have me revise their letters. In one such young gentleman's card he wrote something along the lines of:

 "try not to become too addicted to C.O.D"

I paused and began to ask what this C.O.D was and then it came to me

Call of Duty

There were three boys standing around me and they all looked shocked when I decoded their acronym.

"Ms. I can't believe you knew what C.O.D was"

"I think you are the first lady that was not confused with C.O.D"

"I am impressed with your knowledge of video games"

Truth be told I have not played Call of Duty nor do I play any other video games. The only reference I have for Call of Duty comes from The Office. I owe my ability to figure out what C.O.D stands for by being an ESE teacher.

I live and breath acronyms.