ESE Friendly

Towards the end of the year I was in an IEP meeting. We were discussing a student's success in all of their classes when someone said, "The reason why their grade is so poor is because that teacher is not ESE friendly." That statement made me pause and ponder such an idea.

ESE friendly. 

I should add this to my resume as it appears to be a desired characteristic trait in today's classroom.

 I cannot deny this need to find ESE friendly teachers as I have too considered whose class to place an ESE student in. Honestly, it's a struggle to find teachers that will accept ESE students for who they are and will become an advocate in order to help them experience success in the classroom. 

All teachers should be ESE friendly especially since more and more ESE students will flood the general education classroom. There is no denying the power an ESE friendly teacher can be on campus. They will become a beacon for ESE students.  A place of refuge. Where a student's disability will not be a problem, but a hurdle to jump over. 

Those test scores

Test scores are funny. Especially state tests. You work all year for these tests and then once you are done taking them you have to wait months on end to find out your score. This was the first year I administered the FAIR test which is taken several times throughout the year. Unlike state tests the results are automatic which seems to motivate students to out perform their last test scores. 

On the last FAIR test a student did so well that he wanted to document a job well done so he could show others. I enjoyed watching his excitement towards his test results. I rarely see this type of reaction with tests; mostly because I do not hand out high stakes test scores. 

 I believe when students are automatically given their scores there is a deeper meaning to tests. When there is a prolonged waiting period when receiving test scores the test is long forgotten once they arrive in the mail. 

If tests are taken online shouldn't the results be automatic? Just wondering. 

The fact of the matter is a test score will not define your fate.

Broken essays

A couple of weeks ago I was leading up to students writing an essay on a story's theme based on Gary Soto's memoir one last time. The end result of all this work would have them write their own memoir where they would have to pick a them for their own life.

We were in the process of analyzing Soto's memoir, breaking down the plot line discussing possible themes and providing evidence that back up what they were saying. 

I was asking a lot of them. Each day I would reveal a new assignment that would cause them to go deeper into Soto's memoir. For the most part students were going along with the plan. But there was this small group of students that we're starting to grumble.

Their grumbling would intensify each day as a new challenging assignment was given. Until one day a student's head was slowly lowered and stayed there the entire class period. A complete system shut down occurred with this student. I observed from afar until it came time to see if I could intervene in any way. Turns out I couldn't. The class ended and this student went on the merry little way.

The next day I investigated as to why this student completely shut their door on me. You want to know why they decided to lay their head on the desk? I was giving them too much work to complete. I like to call this scenario 'earning my paycheck' I love when students ask why I make things so challenging.  That's part of the job description to challenge their brains.

Inclusion

A word that has always and will always weigh heavy on my heart. Funny thing is that I am now in the mist of an inclusive environment. Something that I have been longing for a couple of years now. I'm used to self contained classes and a very wimpy version of inclusion. 

You know, the kind with all the ESE kids a few gen. Ed. ones in the same class and two teachers (one ESE and the other gen. ed.). Not my idea of what inclusion looks like.

 Now I have what I would define as a true inclusive environment. A class of twenty some students with less than half of them receiving ESE services. This past week I witnessed the beauty of what an inclusion classroom can do. Students working hand in hand to discover the theme of a story. A low murmur filled the classroom as groups of students found evidence to support their answers from the text. These two groups of students, the ones with labels and the label less ones, blended together. This experience made my heart happy.  I drove to work Friday morning knowing that the ESE students I love so much may have a chance to fit into this world with little to no fuss. Now will everyday go as planned, absolutely not. But it's nice know that inclusion works and everyone can benefit from this model.

Caroline's Cart

There are numerous every day life events that I personally take for granted. For example, going to the grocery store with my family and not having to worry about how we will maneuver in and out of the aisles. I have a hard enough time not hitting people with a shopping cart let alone trying to operate a wheel chair for a loved one as well. One family made it their mission to ease this everyday life event for families with special needs children. 

Drew Ann and David were experiencing frustration when they ventured out shopping with their daughter Caroline who has special needs. Through the help and support of Easter Seals a special cart was created. Caroline's Cart is a shopping cart designed for children with special needs. With the use of this cart parents are given more freedom in how they transport their child through stores. Their goal is to enable special needs children to move more freely with their family through every-day life. They hope to one day make Caroline's Cart available at retailers across the country. 

Reacting to labels

 I don't know about you, but I check expiration dates on food more than I like to admit. Once a particular food item has reached its due date I automatically wave good bye. I don't know why I can't get past that stupid date. I know I'm not going to die if I eat yogurt that expired yesterday, but somehow I can't get past the label. 

The same can be said about disabilities. We see these labels on people and assume that such and such person is going to be too much to handle just based on a label that is tied to their name. I'm 100% guilty of this and I teach special education. 

During my first year of teaching I was given a student who had a label of autism. Before I even laid eyes on this kid I already felt like I knew him just based on his label. A part of me was excited, my first student with autism and then the other part of me was feeling oh dear autism. When he walked in my room I automatically noticed his size; he towered over my 5'1" frame. I braced myself for what he was going to pull out of his autism bag of tricks. Class was coming to a close and I decided to lay down the law. I walked over and sternly explained the way I ran my class and how I had zero tolerance for any funny business. He politely sat at his desk and nodded along.

Weeks passed and nothing happened. No major explosions, meltdowns or nightmares occurred. All the stories and scenarios I read about autism was not playing itself out in my classroom. To be completely honest I was a little disappointed. I mean how could I earn my "autism badge of courage" if I didn't deal with a major autism related catastrophe? I slowly began to realize that I had over reacted to this student's label. 

When I came to this realization I was horrified. How could I judge someone based on their label? I hated when I was treated differently based on my label and now I was partaking in the same type of judgement. I understand why students must carry around their label so we can provide them with the best education possible, but is there a way that we can bypass the overreacting to their label?

A little pick me up

This letter came in the mail last Thursday totally out of the blue. Friday's blog post will explain to you that I am not a fan of the warm and fuzzy feelings. With that being said I did get teary eyed reading this letter, but thanks to my clogged tear duct no tears were shed. 

Sometimes as educators we may never know how much we influence students. This particular student is a sophomore in high school now. She was full of spunk and attitude when she was in my classroom. At the time this student was at my school ESE teachers were trying to push students out into the general education classroom instead of being stuck in intensive academic classes. This push towards placing students into the general education classroom has stopped thanks to our course codes being switched to the same as gen. ed. In a way having the same course codes is great, but now there really is no reason to place ESE students into gen. ed. classes since we now have identical course codes.

 I think its safe to say that inclusion has died because of these course codes. ESE students are not being mixed in with gen. ed. students they are stuck with one another in the same classes year after year. When ESE students are together they tend to feed off of one another's deficits.  I miss the days of motivating students to work hard so they can have the opportunity to get out of intensive academic classes. It breaks my heart knowing that there are students that would thrive by being placed out of I.A classes, but are not given the chance. The sad thing is that we try to place them out of our classes, but they eventually find their way back into our classrooms or their schedules are never changed. This lack of inclusion in the classroom setting is only short changing students with disabilities to reach their true potential. 

I wish schools would put inclusion as its top priority in education. I think if inclusion was more of a priority other problems would disappear. Schools need to be provided with resources, funding and support in order for inclusion to even have a chance. 

The A word

Accommodations

That's the A word I'm referring to

Providing reasonable and necessary accommodations to students with disabilities is a vital teacher responsibility. Sometimes this responsibility can become burdensome when there are fifteen students in one classroom all acquiring an accommodation of some sort. At one point or another we might scratch our head and wonder why must we accommodate when in the real world the likelihood of them receiving the same accommodations as in the classroom is slim. 

I believe one of the many reasons accommodations are offered and provided for students in a school setting is to help them become their own advocate. Without providing these accommodations to students with disabilities they may never develop a system to successfully maneuver hurdles that their disabilities will present themselves in the real world. We must teach them 'tricks' on how to deal with their disability. If students with disabilities are shown ways to manage challenges they face with their disability then they will start accommodating themselves. In order for them to learn how to accommodate themselves we must first show them by providing accommodations in the classroom. Eventually, they will naturally start accommodating for themselves and will learn how to compensate for their disability. 

Will every student become their own advocate and accommodate for themselves, no. But I'd rather show students how to accommodate for their disability than complain that I have to provide accommodations for my students in the classroom. They have to be shown that their ability out shines their disability. If I was not given accommodations when I was in school I am 87% sure that my disability would drown me. Thankfully, I had teachers that provided me with accommodations that lightened the load. Without my teachers showing me ways to cope with my disability I might not have made it to where I am today. 

Ignore method

 I am pretty sure this teaching method was not taught in college.

Some professionals might frown on my method I used on this one particular student, but to each his own.

So this 6th grader is adorable and has potential to be bright. When you uncover the outer layers you realize that this student craves positive attention and will wither at the thought that he has disappointed someone. For instance, on our way back from lunch one day he was mildly clowning around; the assistant principal caught him and reamed him a new one. Well, the poor thing was completely useless the rest of the class period because he was licking his wounds. 

After failing Q1 I decided to step up my game with this young man because he was too smart to fail. I think it's safe to say that every time he picked up his pencil he would quiver in fear I would catch a mistake. You see I wasn't out to get him I just really wanted to help him reach his true potential. Well, he wasn't doing so hot at the end of Q2. I decided to back off a little. Instead of having his desk right by me I put him as far away as possible. I did not check for understanding with him or ask if he needed help. I let him on his own to figure things out. In fact I directly told the student my plan of action.

"Since October I have watched you like a hawk and not much has changed. So now I am going to ignore you and if you need help you know where to find me." The shocked looked on his face and his "huh" said it all. The mama bird was leaving the baby bird to figure it out on his own. If he wants to fly he knows what to do. 

For the next two weeks he sat in the far left corner of the classroom. He rarely asked for help and did not talk to others, he just did his work. At week three during a lesson on author's purpose he sought me out for questioning on an assignment. Each day he would become more confident in his work and would ask questions or check to make sure he was doing it right. You could almost see his feathers fluffing up. The end of week four was approaching when the baby bird made his move. He ever so gently came to me at my desk and sweetly asked if he could return to his desk by the front. I responded by saying of course. 

This brings us to present day where the baby bird is still by my desk. I do not hover over him like before. I let him struggle and make countless mistakes. He knows what to do and how to fix them now. 

//SOURCE\\

Well hello again IEP

Me being the stubborn person that I am when it comes to my disability went a majority of my time throughout college accommodation less; until I had to take certification and exit exams and then I used my extended time as well as my calculator off of my accommodation list. Unfortunately, I needed to update my IEP because I let it expire once leaving high school. This brought me to the uncomfortable process of being re-evaluated for having a disability...I will never understand why anyone would lie about having a disability. Thankfully, the university I was attending paid for my re-eval otherwise I would of lost a couple hundred on this lovely process of updating my IEP.

 I have never had a more humbling experience than being re-evaluated for my disability in my younger twenties. I promise my psychologist was a mere five years older than me and she is asking me task after task that a fifth grader would breeze through. My favorite part was reading made up words and piecing together puzzles...least favorite was the mental math part or any thing regarding a math problem! I had to visit this lady a total of three separate times for her to re-evaluate me for having a disability.  When the process was complete I was hoping that I some how out grew my disability, but when the paper work was finally processed and sent to me the results were identical to all the other times I have been re-evaluated. Truth be told I do not like reading what was said about me in that report because I do not feel like it is a true representation of who I am so it sits in a file collecting dust.

Three letters

Being in ESE acronym jargon is thrown around weekly.

The sad thing with this jargon is that a student can loose their identity with it. Instead of being a 6th grade boy who is bright and excels in math they become a victim to the system and perhaps even a burden to others.

They no longer have a name, but a couple of letters and numbers overtake who they are. 

Oh you know he is a K and scored a 175 in math, he's non ESOL, but he has SLD and his matrix score is an 10. The more you can add to the list the least appealing he or any other student becomes to the general education system. 

But what if we stripped students of their labels and test score numbers? What if we just taught students without really focusing on the fact that they are ESE or whatever else they are? Why should they be restricted due to how the educational system views them? I mean after all they are the ones that gave them the labels to begin with, right?

Thankfully, there are three letters that are here to help students like this receive the most appropriate and least restrictive education they deserve.

LRE

To give some background on these three letters let's have a little history lesson:

In general, to maximum extent appropriate, children with disabilities, including children in public or private institutions or other care facilities, are educated with children who are not disabled, and special classes, separate schooling, or other removal of children with disabilities from the regular educational environment occurs only when the nature or severity of the disability of a child is such that education in regular classes with the use of supplementary aids and services cannot be achieved satisfactorily.

//SOURCE\\

Now I'm just guessing, but removing a child after five days of being in a general education class probably is not enough time to allow him to be successful? 

And let us not forget that there have been court cases surrounding these three letters too. I suppose I'm taking this issue a little too personally, but unfortunately I am a human being with emotions that just happens to be passionate about students with disabilities. Not only am I probably overly passionate, but I was a victim of not being provided LRE in the public school system during my first couple of years in high school; so much so that I decided to become home schooled. 

For those that are still wondering what LRE is...it stands for Least Restrictive Environment

Oh and let's not forget that an IEP is a legal document. 

Magic Dust

Usually when a student is transferred into my class it's not because they are lighting the world on fire.
Prior to them arriving I am typically told all the wonders they bring into a classroom
you know...
They're lazy
They never write
Can't read
Are incredibly low
and basically are a waste of space

After the motivating list has commenced I typically have a sarcastic comment
Oh, don't worry I'll just sprinkle my magic dust and everything will be okay.
This scenario occurred about a month ago....which is just how I like to start my Wednesday! Fast forward to this week and I'm a little confused with how this student is lazy and doesn't write when they are working on essay number two. Now granted this students first attempt at an essay was straight up plagiarized, which shows effort, but they re-wrote their essay, learned their lesson and is now working on essay number two. 

Oh and yesterday this student also recieved an A on their spelling test and when they found out there was a little dance celebration

FL Writes Re-cap

Yea! It's over...well the test is.

There is still a multitude of lessons to cover before school is let out!

I really did not have much of a preference in what type of essay the students would write:

persuasive

or

expository

just give us a decent prompt to write an essay with!

Thankfully, the lovely ladies in Tallahassee heard our prayers and presented our students with a wonderful prompt in which they could develop an essay for. When I read the prompt for the first time chills went up and down my body...a splendid prompt indeed! 

 

My students came in with an array of emotions. Some were excited while others were nervous. They grabbed some energy and settled into their desks preparing themselves for the task at hand. The typical speech was uttered: no cell phone blah...blah...blah

And then it was their turn to shine and demonstrate all that they have learned. There is a part of me that wishes that a portion of ESE student's score was based on effort because they worked their little tails off for those 60 mins and then continued on into their extended time.

 

I love watching them write and plan their essays. In a way they are well oiled machines and did everything they have learned this year. Are they perfect writers, no. Do they make mistakes, absolutely yes! Did they try their best, they sure did!

 

and this is truly all I can ask of them is to try their best and use what they know when they are writing their essay!

 

Let the writing begin

I am not one to overly panic, but if someone handed me a brown paper bag this morning I am pretty sure I would of used it...Not that I would necessarily know what to do with it...I defiantly had the walls are caving in on me and I need to get out of my room moment. Thankfully there are some wonderful teachers around me that will instantly put me at ease just by talking to them.

The reason for my semi-melt down is that the FCAT writing test is tomorrow for my 8th graders. I feel 98.5% positive that they are as prepared as they can be and honestly there is not much I or they could do to improve their writing. Their ready...I am ready now I just need tomorrow to go by as smoothly as possible.

I continued the tradition of having my 7th and 6th graders write notes of encouragement to the 8th graders. I love this lesson of kindness and lifting people up through writing...I look forward to it every year!

 

 

Not a fan of...

Diploma option day for IEPs

 {For those that are unaware}

When a student will turn fourteen within the year of their annual IEP; the uncomfortable decision must be made about their diploma tract. There are two options: standard diploma or special diploma. Obviously you want to get a standard diploma. Unfortunately, a majority of my students get opted for a special diploma. Now with a special diploma your future is limited. Four year universities are out of the question, military is questionable, a majority of jobs as well as community colleges, trade schools and vocational training will accept this type of diploma. 

I guess it could be worse, but when you click on special diploma option 1 on a student's IEP and the parent is present a flood of emotions is bound to spill out.

Today was one of those meetings. A diploma option needed to be selected and when we clicked on special diploma option one, tears instantly fell down the parents face. My heart always aches as I hold back my own tears and put on a brave face for the parents and student in the room. I know that the diploma option can always change each year as the student progresses or as education laws and mandates change, but I always think that I could have a special diploma and my future would not be what it is now if  I was a student in today's schools. 

I want this shirt

"But I have an...

IEP so you have to help me more than the other students," one 7th grader proclaimed on Monday.

(His IEP re-eval was last week so I guess it was fresh on his mind)

Nevertheless, this was the wrong thing to say in a room full of students who all have IEPs and even a teacher who once had one herself.

Unfortunately, the second this tid bit of information slipped out of his mouth I became the sarcastic version of myself and informed him that he does in fact have an IEP and then I went and named every single student in the class that had an IEP

Molly has an IEP

Jack has an IEP

Ashley has an IEP

David has an IEP

Ruth has an IEP

Ricky has an IEP

Tiffany has an IEP

John has an IEP

Sara has an IEP

Jacob has an IEP

Ian has an IEP

Meg has an IEP

And alllllll the IEPs say different things and I have to help you alllll in different ways.

I think this moment in the classroom can go down as the least graceful conversation I have ever had.

Truth be told it can be difficult to manage a classroom full of students that all have IEPs. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death and would bend over backwards for them. However, its times like these when I have five students who need me to accommodate them, each in a very unique manner that can become a little overwhelming.

On a side note my first IEP of the school year is tomorrow with a student I am very fascinated with.

 

Find your greatness

I saw this commerial during the Olympics last week and instantly fell in love. I incorporated this clip into my yearly welcome back speech to students. I told all of them that this is our theme: finding our greatness. Some classes had to watch the clip twice because they missed the significance of the little boy being the main character in the commercial. After the clip we discussed why the boy was chosen to be in the commercial. They all pretty much came up with the same response...he was not born to be great at playing baseball and yet he is.

I feel that this is a perfect commercial to show ESE students. They are told often that they will not be great and some how within themselves they have to strive for greatness.

I am showing another Nike 'find your greatness" commercial for our weekly community writing notebook.

Finally free

Tears of joy and amazement flooded down my face as I laughed with the unbelievable news that was on the screen. I passed the middle grade English 5-9 exam! Hours of hard work, practice tests, note taking and writing essays came through as the burden of this exam was lifted off my shoulder.

  This test score represents more than the fact that I am highly qualified to teach English, but that my disability truly has no hold on me anymore. I am not one to hate anything however I hate tests...I even hate proctoring tests.

This was the first state test that I have taken the first time and passed as well as the first test I have taken without any of my accommodations. The fact that I did not use my extended time, which is double the time of the test, is huge!

I have major processing issues when it comes to reading questions and finding out the true meaning of what the question is asking me. I tend to second guess myself and have a mini debate on what answer is truly correct...as you can tell answering one question can take awhile.

Knowing that I was taking this test without accommodations caused me to worry even more. I figured out that I needed to answer 28 questions in thirty minutes in order to finish the 80 question test on time. During my first practice test I answered only 12 questions in thirty minutes...cause for concern indeed!

I kept on plugging along studying until my brain hurt and thinking positive thoughts the whole way through. I just kept saying to myself that my disability had no control of my potential and I was going to determine my own greatness and not my label. I feel that by passing this test I have regained a part of me that my disability always held captive. I am no longer dragged down by fear of failure that loomed in the distance. I have finally been set free!

The land of oz and ESE

Sometime in June I was in the goodwill bookstore with my mom and came across an interesting find:

A survival guide for the first-year special education teacher. I have struck gold! Wanting to know how they suggest to survive in ESE I flipped through the thin survival guide.

The first quote in the book is very fitting for ESE: Toto, I have the feeling we are not in Kansas anymore. When I read this quote I burst out with laughter. Yep, ESE is a land of its own filled with flying monkeys and good witches floating in bubbles.

I suppose that Kansas would be general education. Since gifted is underneath the ESE umbrella they would be the citizens of Emerald city. All the misfits that make up oz would be ESE.

{For curious minds...I did not purchase this survival guide}

Three letters: ESE

ESE = exceptional student education/educators

{a.k.a special education}

Due to political correctness and all that jazz ESE teachers educate an exceptional bunch of students.

{Like we did not already know this}

For those that glanced at the "my journey" portion of the blog you might of discovered that I have a specific learning disability in the area of auditory processing. Due to my label I guess you can say I have some first hand experience with special education.

I was identified with having a disability when I was in 1st grade and my disability remains to be my ever present shadow. My SLD does not play much of a significant role in my life now a days unless I am taking  a test (processing issues) or dabbling in some math (I avoid math like the plague).

Through my disability I have learned countless lessons, cried numerous tears and have climbed invisible mountains that seemed impossible. My disability has been a blessing in disguise in more ways than one.

{more about this at a later date}

Around the 11th grade the whole college and career decision hits you like a ton of bricks. I always knew I would attend college and given my families track record for landing somewhere in the education field; I presumed I would go into education as well.

My natural instinct decided on special education because...well...I know what it's like to be an ESE student I might as well hop the fence and be an ESE teacher.

My journey in becoming a teacher was fairly easy a couple of bumbs in the form of tests and professors nothing too out of the ordinary. Since I have SLD that is the group of students I wanted to teach and with a degree in varying exceptionalities k-12 I could do just that.

I feel that I can relate to my students in a way that no amount of training or degrees could. I have fought their fight and have come out on the other side victorious. This is why I choose ESE as my profession...I was born to be an ESE teacher...It's in my blood or DNA.