Monday, March 7, 2011

I cried and I told him he has a disability

NBC's Parenthood did not disappoint in the episode where Max found out that he has aspergers.
There were a couple of items that stood out:

1. different wiring
Originally when Max's parents sat down with him to explain what aspergers is they said that he is wired differently.

I remember being told that I was wired differently due to my disability//SLD\\. At the time when I was told this it made sense and it still does. In fact, there actually may be some wires missing when it comes to me dealing with anything math related.

I think the reason why people tend to resort to the "wired differently" explanation is because it is a visual reference. We all know what happens when you plug a wire into the wrong switch...things do not go as planned. This is exactly what happens when a person has a disability things that you think should happen don't because the wiring is we have to find a way around the mis-routed  wires.

2. explaining/telling
Toughest part of having a disability is telling someone that you have a disability. If you have a disability or have told someone that they have a disability than you know what I am talking about.

I am finally secure in telling others that I have a disability. Now this does not mean that I walk up to someone and say "Hi, my name is Megan and I have a disability", but if the "d" word came up in conversation then I may mention that I have a disability. The only reason why I tend to hold back revealing that I have a disability is because I DO NOT want to be treated differently because of my label.

3. crying
Max's mom cried when they were explaining what aspergers is to their son. There are really two reasons why people cry: sad or happy and in this situation Max's mom was sad. Her reaction was completly normal, but it may have signaled that having a disability is negative.

I know I have shed my fair share of tears due to my frustration and absolute disgust that this darn label will never leave me alone. Thankfully, the tears have stopped as I have learned how to adapt and deal with my disability...just do not try to get me to play euchre...worst card came EVER! 

4. buddy
Max's parent refered to him as buddy three seperate times during this episode

If you have ever taken any disability in the media class then you know that "buddy" is a common name to call someone who has a disability...well hello there buddy

5. life changing
Finding out that a loved one has a disability is completely life changing...nothing will ever be the same. One day your child is label free and developing like everyone else and then bam...a disability knocks you off your feet. Max's parent's noticed signs that their son was different due to his quirky behavior, but thought nothing of them...until they sought after expert opinion.

Having a disability has complety altered my life. I know that I am the person I am today because of all the struggles and triumpts that have come with having a disability. There have been days were I wish I was label free and was not weighted down with my disability, but I am grateful for all the experiences that have come my way because of my disability!

6. never going away
Max asked if the characteristics of his aspergers would last forever.

Much to my disability is my ever present companion. If I could have one wish I would want to spend one day label free.

7. abilities
I loved how Max's parents not only told him how asperger made him different, but all the wonderful abilities that come with his labels.

I think humans typically over look the abilities when disabilities come into the picture. I wish and pray that there is more of a focus on a persons abilities rather than the lack of ability. I feel that when we focus too much on the label that the true abilities disapear.

I may have a disability, but that does NOT mean that I am not abled!

1 comment :

  1. You have always been wonderful. It is hard on the parents when they are told about the learning difference...but it is harder when you have to explain it to a 6 year old! How? Why? But we did it! YOU ACHIEVED MORE THAN WAS TOLD TO US..and i still say "HA HA to all those people who did not cheer you know your mom and dad always did (and yes ruth later). I can remember explaining it to others like this "you know when you go to plug in your vaccuum and you miss the two plug inserts, well that is what happens with people with learning challenges" I can also remember saying this alot "i learn differently than you do, so does megs".
    I love you and you have reached many mountaintops experiences and will continue to climb them and achieve!!! We will forever be cheering you on! So proud of you! love you, mom (and dad and ruth and molly) DO NOT LET "LABELING" rule your life. You just learn differently than others, but so do i! and your dad! and your sister! and we are still trying to figure out ruth!


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